Community Guidelines

Rules

The intention of these rules are to support connection and safety.

  1. Be respectful of all members. Stay constructive. If you have a strong emotional reaction to something, take a step back to cool off.
  2. Don’t assume someone wants advice unless they specifically ask for it. If you don’t know what someone wants, ask them.
  3. If someone says they have been harmed by something in their life, accept that at face value. Don’t argue with someone else’s experience.
  4. Take responsibility for your own experience and self-care.
  5. Don’t post misinformation, anti-vax content, or conspiracy theories.
  6. Don’t promote or sell to other users. (It’s fine to talk about your projects or ask for advice about them in the Career, Money, & Biz category.)
  7. Respect people’s pronouns as best as you are able. If you make a mistake, just acknowledge it and move forward.
  8. Keep politics to the World Events & Politics category and keep it civil and growth-oriented. (This is not a debate club.)
  9. If someone says no to whatever you are doing, stop doing it. Respect consent and remember consent can be withdrawn at any time for any reason.
  10. The topics discussed here matter to us. Be respectful of the topics and the people discussing them, even if you disagree. Try to not derail topics.
  11. Remember that we don’t all have the same neurotype and that can lead to miscommunication, but it is probably not intentional. Familiarize yourself with the Double Empathy problem (see also the section on Differences below).
  12. No sexism, racism, transphobia, bigotry, hate speech, dehumanization, or slurs.

Please use the flagging system or tag mods to alert us to an issue.

Reminders

The intention of this section is to remember our shared purpose and what practices and values help support it.

This is a safe place for authentic connection.

We are all humans and we all have nervous systems. These nervous systems respond to the perception of threat. Once that threat response is activated, it becomes very hard to stay curious, imagine others complexly, or share openly. It becomes difficult to connect from the heart, and easy to jump to conclusions.

Therefore, our first priority is to be mindful of where our own nervous system is at, and if we notice we are starting to feel activated, to take time for self-care. If we notice others seem activated, we can offer empathy or support, clarify our intentions (not to defend but to reassure), check for understanding, or step back to allow there to be more space in the connection.

Conflict is inevitable in any relationship that moves beyond the surface. What makes this space safe is not the absence of discomfort, but our commitment to stay in integrity with our values when discomfort arises.

We don’t need to be perfect, we just need to remember why we are here and that mistakes can be repaired. We are not here to be flawless, we are here to be in relationship.

Differences are sources of strength and wisdom.

Each person in this space comes with unique identities, histories, needs, habits, experiences, comfort zones, and boundaries. This diversity is the rich soil that nourishes the community we are creating.

By remembering that differences are good actually, we can stay grounded when we feel challenged or confused when encountering someone else’s reality. We can honor our differences while co-existing in a shared framework of respect and mutual support.

Being inclusive doesn’t mean artificially collapsing differences. It means cultivating the capacity to stay present with difference and learn from it, while allowing it to remain.

The most difficult difference to be present to is one that feels threatening to something you hold dear. It’s OK to just acknowledge that: “It’s hard to hear that because I feel protective of my need for ＿＿.” (or “the value I hold for ＿＿”).

This is a co-created space.

SLS is not a product to consume, it is a living system we are building together.

Your presence matters. Your feedback matters. Your care for the space and the people in it shapes what this community becomes. You are invited to show up with intention, to whatever extent is enjoyable and supportive for you.

We each have unique medicine to share, and what we are doing here is developing ourselves and each other. Every time you show up, you are participating in other people’s growth as well as your own. This is in no way meant to imply obligation, but rather to help you see yourself as part of something larger, where your presence and contribution matters and has an impact.

This is not a performance.

We expect mistakes, awkwardness, and learning edges. In fact, we welcome them, so we can be awkward too. 💚

If you have any suggestions for changes to this document, open a topic in the SLS Help & Feedback category.